Content Warning: discussion on body weight, body image, body modification, the use of the terms ‘fat’, fatphobia and fat fetishization.

Vulva Gallery illustration of a fleshy mons pubis with pubic hair
image from thevulvagallery.com

Recently, I polled some men that I know, some of whom I have fucked, and asked them to tell me their thoughts on ‘fat pussy’. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it’s quite straight forward: it refers to the vaginas, vulvas and general pubic areas of fat folks. Type ‘fat pussy’ into a search engine or a porn site and you’ll find an endless sea of voluptuous women exposing their vulvas and pulling back their soft pubic mounds. For some this is unthinkably unappealing, but for many, fat pussy is a preference.

About the words ‘fat’, ‘woman’, and ‘pussy’

For clarity, I don’t love the word ‘fat’, but I accept it, and I do use it. For me, it doesn’t have to be an insult and can feel fairly neutral, especially since I have started using it plainly and unemotionally to describe myself. I very much prescribe to the idea that bodies have fat, but that fat doesn’t define them. Your body has hair, no one says your body is hair. As someone who has been told they were too fat their whole life, I find it empowering to use the term for myself; it’s no longer a value statement for me.

I am a cis woman and I spoke to cis men about their heterosexual experiences with women with fat pussies because that’s the extent of my reach and experience on this topic. Can other folks who don’t identify as cis women (and their partners) face these issues? Absolutely! I, however, can only speak authentically about this from a cishet point of view so that is the language I have used throughout this post.

As for ‘pussy’, it’s a word I use sex-positively. I prefer ‘cunt’ when i talk about my own body,  but it’s a rather divisive term and ‘fat pussy’ has such a nice ring to it.  For me, calling someone a pussy would be a compliment. Pussies are fabulous.

a fat, white woman spreads her legs for the camera and shows off her fat pussy

But back to fat pussy

From what I gathered from reading about and talking to some men (all cis, some straight, some bi) about having sex with fat women, body size is not a hindrance or a turn off, in fact most of them said that they relish a substantial body type in a sexual partner. For some it’s a case of being more comfortable with a sturdy body more their size because sex with petite women feels like there is more a risk of accidentally hurting them. This made me chuckle, because, really guys? You’re not going to shatter a woman’s pelvis just because she’s slim*.

What was very interesting to me was that almost all of them were familiar with ‘fat pussy’ as a concept and agreed that it was a positive. When I asked why, the answers were all the same: it just feels so good. 

As they elaborated, the consensus became even more clear on why fat pussy is such a sensory delight: it’s all about contact. One fellow summed it up nicely with this explanation:

When a woman has a ‘fat pussy’ as you put it <laughs> there’s just more contact between our bodies. There’s more thigh, more belly, more of the soft flesh of the vulva, all of which adds to the luxurious softness of a woman’s body. It’s enveloping, warm and wet, and it’s more of a blur between our bodies which amps up the excitement.

The phrase “more cushion for the pushin’ ” came up more than once, and while that’s a rather trite little rhyme, the sentiment seems genuine: a more voluptuous body has sensory and visual merit and can be a significant part of physical attraction for some people.

* To be clear, this isn’t about calling out slim women and saying they have inferior bodies in any way. This is about acknowledging that where some people find fault, others find beauty. Slim women get the spotlight almost all the time, this isn’t about them.

Fat is still Fetishized

As a fat woman I have experienced some fatphobia but, by and large, I have experienced a lot more fat fetishization. Known often as “chubby chasers”, there is a subset of folks, mainly straight men, who see fat women less as human beings and more as sexual objects. To them we are soft, yielding objects that should be happy to receive any sexual attention at all, making their advances a blessing that we should readily lap up and be grateful for.

To them I say: fuck you

I am more than happy for a partner to touch and enjoy my body, even the parts that have taken me a long time to accept like my belly or my thighs. It is a joy to recognize and accept that it is not the kind of body we see on most magazine covers, but it is still so capable of receiving and providing pleasure. What is not okay with me, is being reduced down to the sum of my parts and seen as prop for someone’s fantasy or fetish. Sadly, that is a very real thing. I’m sure there are fat women who are into being worshipped for their fatness, I’m just not one of them. Lots of cam girls and sex workers cater to clientele that like their ladies chunky, and I think that’s fantastic. Women indulging men in that fantasy is not the problem. Men objectifying (any) women in (any) way, is the issue.

Personally, I have never had a hard time getting laid, meeting partners, etc. and I can assure you that my experience is not unique. Fucking as a fat chick is not the endless trail of broken dreams that film and media would have you believe it is. We like sex as much as the skinny girls and we are just as good at it. Being a great lover has nothing to do with the condition or ability of your body and everything to do with your attitude, and let me tell you, there is no attitude like that of a sexy fat girl who knows her worth and knows she’s hot as hell.

Fucking as a fat chick is not the endless trail of broken dreams that film and media would have you believe it is. We like sex as much as the skinny girls and we are just as good at it.

That old blow job myth

For as long as I have had any sexual vocabulary and interest (so, like, since the mid 90’s) I have seen the ridiculous myth that fat girls give better head and work harder at it because they are so eager to please men and be deemed ‘fuckable’. Give me a goddamn break and shut the fuck up with that nonsense. Giving an amazing blowjob is something anyone can do, and is not just a fat girl consolation prize. This is the kind of systemic, fatphobic bullshit that just floats around in popular culture like it’s as true as anything. Spoiler alert: it’s not.

FUPA, Gunt and Monsplasty, oh my!

Part of the appeal of fat pussy is the presence of FUPA, which is an acronym for “fat upper pubic/pelvic area”, also called (more pejoratively) a “gunt”, which stands for the gut/cunt  combo of the lower stomach. Also called an “apron stomach” this concentration of subcutaneous fat is more often than not just a genetic trait, and in other cases can be a side effect of a variety of medical conditions. No matter why someone has it, this is a body feature that is heavily demonized in beauty culture and is not a woman-only trait. Liposuction and surgery to trim excess skin can reduce the appearance of FUPA but the genetic pre-disposition to carry weight there doesn’t just disappear, so for many this is a lifelong battle of body vs beauty standards. Monsplasty is another popular cosmetic alteration that focuses on the reduction of the fat pad of the pelvis, making the mons pubis less “puffy” and less noticeable.

Personally, I’m a fan of a pronounced mound; I think they’re lovely. The softness of a fat pubis is truly sensual and is nice to handle, kiss, bite and nuzzle. It may conceal the front of the vulva and clit more than a leaner pelvis but it also contributes to masturbation and manual stimulation of the clit by providing movement and friction, and as mentioned above: contact is desirable.

So to all the fat pussies out there, I support you! I understand the imperfection of our culture and how it overlooks, demonizes and thwarts fat sexuality and I hope that this post contributes to the dismantling of those cultural structures in even the tiniest way. That’s all we can do! Fat Pussies of the world, unite!

 

 

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2 thoughts on “In Praise of Fat Pussy”

  1. “…there is no attitude like that of a sexy fat girl who knows her worth and knows she’s hot as hell.”

    I’ve never enjoyed many of the tropes in RomComs, but the one where bigger girls get no action is one that’s always bothered me. Confidence is the hugest determining factor in all things. I’ve never been particularly confident and that’s always held me back.

    This didn’t feel like a rant, by the way. More of a tribute or a shout out. This, too, is beautiful.

  2. i have never really thought much about size. but a sexy big girl is a sexy Wom.an and i love eating and worshipping pussy
    You have a lovely pussy and those thighs around my head of what a lovely thought and feeling

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