Welcome. I’m Violet Fawkes.

Violet is not the name on my passport, but Violet is a true manifestation of my kinky, creative self. In many ways, by knowing me as Violet Fawkes, you see and know a more authentic version of myself than I share in my day-to-day life. Writing about sex and sexuality, especially about my own sex and sexuality, is a voyage of growth and self-discovery that I am so grateful to be on, and the fact that you are here reading along means a lot to me.

Who is Violet Fawkes?

I’m a kinky, non-monogamous feminist. I’m bisexual and I’m a cis woman. My pronouns are she/her. I’m in my 30s, and my politics fall well left of centre.”

Why sex blogging?

As a member of the BDSM community, a non-monogamous individual, and a recently “out” bisexual, I have felt “on the fringes” of polite society for awhile. This motivates and encourages me to produce the work that I do because creating representation for myself and others on “the fringes” feels like a valuable contribution to the world. I have always been an artist and a writer, but my life is finally at a place where I can embrace those talents full time.

I’m not here to tell you how to do the things you do when the lights go out (or even if you leave them on), I’m here to share fiction and photos, secrets and stories, everything from poetry and prose to journal entries and toy reviews. What you take away from that is up to you.

Blog content, content warnings & comments

This is an NSFW 18+ blog, not suitable for minors or for the faint of heart. The content I produce here is sometimes very specific and autobiographical. I speak openly about mental health (my own and in general terms), trauma and abuse, sexual assault, body dysmorphic disorder,  and other challenging topics. I do my very best to include content warnings on posts and social media links so that you are empowered to make choices about what you see and experience on Love, Violet. Please heed content warnings and read at your own discretion. I read all comments and respond to them when possible. Please remember that the work that I share here is deeply personal and while I value feedback and critique, I do moderate comments and I don’t tolerate trolling, antagonistic comments or cruelty. Although this is my safe, creative, space and I ultimately write here for myself, it is essential that it is also a safe place for everyone who reads my work, participates in projects, etc.

Non-Monogamy and My ‘Constellation’

I am non-monogamous, a detail that is mentioned from time to time, and occasionally blogged about, but this is not a specifically polyamorous blog. I don’t believe in pushing the ‘non-monogamous agenda’ because I understand that monogamy works well for many people and I think we should all live and love in the fashion that is best for us. I speak freely about non-monogamy here and on social media, but I don’t disparage more traditional couples or their relationship dynamics. I have been knowingly, actively non-monogamous for nearly 25 years, and I am happy to provide support or offer a non-judgemental ear to anyone with questions or hesitations around their own relationship anarchy.

I like to refer to my polyam family as a ‘constellation’; each of us is an individual star, but we are clustered together, connected. I am so fortunate to have the love and support of my people, and while not all of my partners know each other personally, I do practice “kitchen table” polyamory, meaning that everyone is aware of the others’ presence in my life and communication is open and free flowing. Some of them have other partners, others do not, some are non-monogamous beyond our relationships, others are not. Perhaps someday we will all sit around the same table and share some laughs, but until then, I count myself as incredibly lucky to know, love, and be loved, by these people.

On being bisexual

Looking back, I have obviously always been bi, but it took me a very long time to sort that out and take on the term “bisexual”. I identify as bisexual, although I’m aware I still have a lot of presumed straight privilege. I have always been an ally of the LGBTQIA+ community, and now that I am a card-carrying member I am actively learning how to be a better, more involved ally to all. I believe that allyship is an ongoing work-in-progress and there is always something to be learned.

BDSM on the blog and in real life

I’m a kinky fucker, it’s true. My tastes in sex and intimacy can be dark and specific, my fantasies, even more so. It’s important to me to be clear that all sexual situations and experiences, fiction or otherwise found on this blog, are between consenting adults and when BDSM is referenced, it is safety focused and risk-aware. I am a kink practitioner, yes, but moreover, I am a student of kink, in the broad sense. I do not preach “one true way“, I don’t claim to know it all, and I reserve judgement on others’ kinks, unless of course they are reckless, illegal, or involve parties that cannot or do not consent. Directions, opinions, instructions and Pleasure 101 how-to information should be consumed with care and critical thinking. This blog should never be your sole resource for BDSM information. Do your research, play safe.

D/s Dynamics: 24/7 with Daddy

One of my partners is named here and on social media, simply as “Daddy”. Our relationship has a central D/s element with Him as the D(ominant) and me as the s(ubmissive). Our connection goes far beyond the typical tropes of D/s but it is enhanced by the structure and communication of such a specific dynamic. I often write about our dynamic because it is relatively new and the most fulfilling D/s role I have ever experienced. It is a 24/7 dynamic, meaning that the kink structure of that relationship is at play at all times and D/s acts as a lens by which we communicate, relate, share intimacy and plan for the future.

Photos, images and due credit

I take a lot of my own photos and design most images and illustrations used on this blog. I also use Pixabay, Unsplash and Canva. I occasionally scoop images from Pinterest and Google but I do my best to use images ethically. If you ever come across an uncredited image please let me know and I will update it to include the creator’s name or a link to their work. Likewise, if you like the images I create, be they photos, collage, graphic design or infographics, please reach out and request the use of my work. 99% of the time I will happily say yes so long as it is being used in an ethical and sex positive way.

Let’s stay in touch