Welcome to Pleasure 101, a growing archive of how-to, don’t-do and must-do sex stuff.
The philosophy and purpose of this site is to inspire, entertain, titillate and teach.The whole site, including the Pleasure 101 section, is a sex-positive space. I have been reading, writing, talking, and working in the NSFW sphere for more than half a decade and I have learned so much from sex-positive online communities. I’ve also learned a lot from my own experiences and relationships. My relationship with my body and points of view on sex-positivity have changed over the course of time. I have come to understand that while we are all experts with our own bodies and experiences, sexual literacy and sexual education is not one-size-fits-all. My aim with Pleasure 101 is to create a diverse library of information and observation on sex. I aim to educate and inspire discussion that goes beyond the expected tropes of sex-ed.
More than just Biology
When I first conceived of a “Pleasure 101” section, I was only thinking of body/biology based posts. Either to de-mystify the physical mechanics of sex and genitals, or explain how-to do the things we do that we don’t talk about. Upon further reflection, I quickly changed my tune.
The articles labelled “Pleasure 101” are all about sexual wellness and sex-positivity, including and beyond, the obvious biological questions.
You are the most important part of your sex life, and that includes your thoughts, feelings, relationships, up-bringing, cultural paradigms, and expectations of sex.
If we only look at the biology and anatomy of sex, we ignore these other influences. Sex and sexuality requires, in my opinion, a (w)holistic approach, meaning that in order to learn and apply information about sex that is valuable to us, we must seek what interests us, and serves us, as a whole being.
This is not your mother’s sex-ed class
Most ‘sexual education’ has failed us. Some of us got the bare minimum information, others got no information at all. Those of us who received a relatively accurate crash course still only got information about the applicable ‘parts’ and how to avoid conception. We were armed with pertinent information like how to put a condom on a banana and yet there was no discussion of the feelings that come with sex. Sex-ed lacked information on the complexities of sexual relationships; no talk of pleasure or autonomy, just rules and fear without context. Consider for a moment how different your choices and ideals on sex may have been. Imagine if sexual education had been given more airtime, been made more valid, or spoken about in a plain and constructive way.
Intersectionality, feminism & the amoral nature of sex
Is this the future of sex ed? I hope so! I would love to see the standard elevated as we continue to move towards more inclusive, intersectional dialogue around sex.
Our world would no doubt be very different if sexual education was intersectional and acknowledged sociopolitical influences and implications. Likewise, if sex and sexuality were no longer considered part of moral discourse! And imagine for a moment if feminist theory or critical theory were interwoven into the way we think about and talk about sex, ultimately influencing and improving the sex we have?
Until then, we sex bloggers will read, and write, and challenge; we will discuss and dismantle the systems that make sex complicated, when it needn’t be. I say yes to complexity and no thank you to complicated.
And that, is what Pleasure 101 is about! I hope you’ll learn along with me.
More Pleasure 101 by Violet, elsewhere on the internet
I write for several online sex/relationship magazines. Below are some more sex positive, Pleasure 101-type pieces I have written. Click the image to go to the article.