• elust,  on writing

    ELust 116

    Welcome to Elust 116– The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #117? Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! Photo courtesy of A Dissolute Life Means ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~ The Space Between Us Language Matters Extraordinary Hands ~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~ Chips I believe I can fly. ~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~ photographie érotique ~ a perspective *You…

  • autobiographical,  Masturbation Monday,  on writing,  Thoughts

    Setting Blogging Goals and Sticking to Them

    Isn’t it interesting how basically everyone on the internet heaved a collective sigh that 2018 was coming to a close? I certainly did; it was one hell of a bumpy ride and one of the hardest years I have ever had professionally and personally. To be honest, the latter half of 2017 was no picnic either, but 2019, like most “fresh starts” has been unfurled before us, ours to make the most of. I like to get the feel for a new year before I tackle new ideas and goals – I don’t like to declare resolutions because I’m not convinced they work. I like the spirit of resolutions but…

  • autobiographical,  January Jump Start,  on writing,  Thoughts

    The Problem with Sex Writing

    I started #JanuaryJumpStart to kick my own ass into gear and get back into the discipline of writing daily after the luxuriant holidays and a bit of a dry spell. Well, the egg is on my face, friends: I’m struggling. I know it’s not pass or fail and I’m certainly not judging any of the other writers who are contributing if they are not doing so daily, but I thought I’d make it at least through the first week. Not so. The trouble for me is twofold. Firstly, if I’m not feeling very sexy, I struggle to write sexy stuff. You know how on Seinfeld, George over packs for the…

  • January Jump Start,  on writing,  Thoughts

    Fret vs Flow

    I read a great phrase, serendipitously on New Year’s Day, and I have taken it upon myself to make it my mantra for 2019. Would you like to read it? Of course you would. The creative process is a process of surrender, not control. Now, as a kinky, sex blogger, writing and creating in an arena of themes like surrender and control, this really spoke to me. I recognized immediately that the feelings of insecurity and self doubt I have been feeling about my writing and my blog as a whole are entirely the fiction of my ego and my need to be in control. Seeing that so clearly allowed…

  • Love Letters,  on writing,  Photos,  Sinful Sunday

    Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals

    The stockings are hung, the roast beast is acquired, the Grinching is slowly abating and the cocktails are flowing. It must be Christmas. It has been a big year here at VF Headquarters, lots of learning and sharing, a lot of writing and photos, much self discovery and some great connections with amazing people. I’m very grateful to you for reading, for commenting, for making it feel like what I create and share here has meaning beyond my own ego. This time of year makes us reflective, looking back on the current year, looking forward to the new year. There have been some great ups and terrible downs in 2018,…

  • elust,  on writing,  Short Fiction,  Thoughts

    Elust 113

    Welcome to Elust 113  The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #114? Start with the rules, come back January1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

  • on writing,  Smut Marathon 2018,  Thoughts

    Smut Marathon Recap

    Well, folks. It’s over. Smut Marathon 2018 has come to a close. I wept and prayed and wrote and deleted. I cursed and celebrated and almost gave up many times. But did I enjoy it? Absolutely. What I loved The prompts: they were creative and became increasingly challenging as the race went on The pace: if you’re nervous about how much or how often you have to write, don’t be, it’s very manageable The support: people retweeting and encouraging votes even after they were eliminated, the unfailing solicitation of votes, the fact that so many people took the time to read and vote. The support was awesome and quite moving.…

  • #SOSS,  on writing,  Thoughts

    Recommended Reading

    I’ll never tire of the depth and breadth of erotica that is produced by this small community, or at least the small faction I know and see. I am continuously moved and humbled by the artistry and sheer vulnerability that is expressed. In fact, that is the theme of the four pieces I’m highlighting here: Vulnerability – a man and the beloved women who beat him, a useful Toy, well used and put away for next time, the vulnerability of being addicted to someone, and lastly, the delicate limbo of faded ritual and the razor’s edge of self preservation. Enjoy these bits of beauty, wrenched and rendered for our pleasure.…

  • Every Damn Day in June,  on writing

    June: 30 days of writing

    If you’re following along from home you may have noticed that May was a slow month around here. I managed Sinful Sunday posts, a Wicked Wednesday or two, even a short Masturbation Monday post and a couple Toy Reviews but by and large, it’s been a ghost town. This morning I happened across a post by Hy at A Dissolute Life Means in which she shared that she is challenging herself to

  • #writebigsexywords,  on writing

    Sexy Verbs – #writebigsexywords

    As they say, “it’s all about the motion of the ocean”, when it comes to sex, right? All the more reason to consider our verbs when writing those hot and sticky scenes. I often find it’s easy to be mindful of adjectives because so much of smut and erotica is about description, about taking the reader into the heat and intensity of the scene so they can almost feel it themselves and relate on a somatic level. Verbs, though, I have a harder time with.

  • #writebigsexywords,  on writing

    Character terms – #writebigsexywords

    Welcome back to #writebigsexywords ! This is our third installment – we have looked at words for colours and words that express a feeling or state of being and this week we turn to words that help us describe a character’s look or personality. I often struggle with building character descriptions and over simplify them by focusing on the superficial, the outside, how they look. It’s much more challenging to weave in their motivations, personality and behaviours but the results can give you a more robust and nuanced description that may help your readers grow attached to the character, or if you’d rather, it can repel them – some of the…