• autobiographical,  femmedom,  January Jump Start,  Thoughts,  Wicked Wednesday

    Exploring New Territory

    I love exploring with new partners. I certainly enjoy touch and ongoing exploration with The Evergreens* as well, but new lovers are so much fun to play and learn with. I feel no shame in saying that variety and new experiences are part of why non-monogamy has been my life and philosophy for over twenty years. When it comes to the exploration of a new partner, whether it’s casual, or more serious, a play session or purposefully bonding lovemaking, there is no exploration I enjoy more than learning the nuances, needs and desires of a submissive man.   Underneath your clothes There’s an endless story There’s the man I chose…

  • January Jump Start,  Kink of the Week,  Lingerie Is For Everyone,  Short Fiction

    Panty Thief

    Nate sat in the armchair in the corner of his room, naked, cross legged. His tablet was perched precariously on the arm of the chair, the same short video playing that he had been watching for weeks, ever since he’d moved in. Renting a room in a house with a woman was a new experience, one that he hadn’t expected would be so challenging, despite always having lived alone. Against his own better judgement, he had moved into this house with a woman that he found intoxicatingly beautiful and incredibly unattainable. In the beginning he had chalked it up to basic lust and being single for awhile, but now he…

  • January Jump Start,  Poems

    Dream Sequence

    At first I couldn’t find you at the party. I knew you would be there because I had opened your gift. I finally found you in the basement in an old gymnasium. You were doing the rings, lifting yourself masterfully, defying gravity. I thanked you for the book and you kissed me deeply without saying a word. My face was dusty from the chalk on your hands. Your eyes were remarkably soft and adoring. I woke up missing you.  

  • autobiographical,  body image,  January Jump Start,  Thoughts

    Words Hurt

    Trigger/Content Warning: child abuse, verbal abuse, eating disorders, body dysmorphia I’d like to thank all of you who commented and tweeted kind and healing words in response to my post the other day about my anxiety about doctor visits and body autonomy. It was a hard post to write and share and it’s been interesting since because it’s sort of opened the flood gates, as if by writing that post I was allowing myself to really look at that trauma and see it for what it was: child abuse. I’ve decided to share everything I can remember in terms of how my parents modelled negative relationships with food, fatphobia, ignorance…

  • January Jump Start,  Wicked Wednesday

    Not to get too technical, but(t) …

    This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is about technical challenges with sex. That’s clearly being left open to interpretation, but the first thing I thought of was anal play. Due to the puritanical underpinnings of much of western society, anal is commonly lauded as an intermediate to advanced sex act; not for the general public, not for the faint of heart. Taboos aside, there is a very real moment in anal play that I call The Do or Die Moment. In short it is the moment when the human anus appears to become sentient in response to having something (safe) stuffed into it. It’s as if suddenly your asshole has a…

  • Boob Day,  January Jump Start,  Photos

    #BoobDay – Full Bush Enterprises

    Sometimes I dream of starting a porn production company and directing smart, fresh, ethical feminist pornography that includes a variety of bodies, genders, races, orientations and fetishes. A happy, safe, hedonistic roster of stars making sexy, fun, consensual films for a wide range of open minded viewers. Everything would be plush and sexy, lots of pink and amber lighting, with incredible old school funk soundtracks, like a refresh of the 70s golden age of porno. I’d call it Full Bush Enterprises.  

  • autobiographical,  body image,  January Jump Start,  Thoughts

    Why I’ll Never Have A Medical Fetish

    I had an appointment yesterday with a new doctor. No cause for alarm, just establishing a connection; we moved last spring and it was time to check that off the ever present to-do list. If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen my tweet seeking good vibes and comforting thoughts because the prospect of being in a doctor’s office invariably panics me. I survived, but not without having a meltdown. My husband took the day off work to go with me, and I’m so glad he did. His pep talk in the car on the way there was sweet reminding me that doctors work for us, and not…

  • autobiographical,  January Jump Start,  on writing,  Thoughts

    The Problem with Sex Writing

    I started #JanuaryJumpStart to kick my own ass into gear and get back into the discipline of writing daily after the luxuriant holidays and a bit of a dry spell. Well, the egg is on my face, friends: I’m struggling. I know it’s not pass or fail and I’m certainly not judging any of the other writers who are contributing if they are not doing so daily, but I thought I’d make it at least through the first week. Not so. The trouble for me is twofold. Firstly, if I’m not feeling very sexy, I struggle to write sexy stuff. You know how on Seinfeld, George over packs for the…

  • autobiographical,  January Jump Start,  Thoughts

    Love Junkie

    When I love, I love: wholly, thoroughly, completely, drowning in everything. Every glance can be a conversation, eyes just playing and saying what needs to be said. Silence is loud, and the air becomes heavy. I want you. I want all of you. Warsan Shire Love is my downfall, my weakness, my Achilles Heel. Falling in love is the most addictive sensation; it’s better than sex or control or food or drugs. It is my ultimate high. I chase New Relationship Energy (NRE) as my ideal vibrational frequency. I thrive on the early stages of intimacy; I’m addicted to vulnerability. But alas, I know that these feelings become hazier and…

  • January Jump Start,  on writing,  Thoughts

    Fret vs Flow

    I read a great phrase, serendipitously on New Year’s Day, and I have taken it upon myself to make it my mantra for 2019. Would you like to read it? Of course you would. The creative process is a process of surrender, not control. Now, as a kinky, sex blogger, writing and creating in an arena of themes like surrender and control, this really spoke to me. I recognized immediately that the feelings of insecurity and self doubt I have been feeling about my writing and my blog as a whole are entirely the fiction of my ego and my need to be in control. Seeing that so clearly allowed…