• autobiographical,  femmedom,  Poems

    I want, I want, I want

    I want to be trusted I want to be worshiped I want to be understood   I want to adore him I want to protect him I want to watch him change and grow   I want to own his body I want to hurt him I want to lick his wounds   I want to be his lighthouse in the storm I want him to reach for me in his sleep I want to be his compass   I want to whisper “Mine.” I want to hear him answer “Yours.” I want to feel him relinquish himself to me   I want to hold him I want to call…

  • autobiographical,  femmedom,  Thoughts

    The Source of Control

    Content warning: domestic violence   I was raised in an extremely confused feminist environment. My family is matriarchal on both sides, the women rule the roost. In almost all cases they are more educated and bigger earners than their male partners. Very few have stayed home to raise children, whereas we have several stay at home dads in the group. Words like “babe” and “bitch” were completely off the table, and don’t you dare compliment the way a woman in my family looks, or say that their daughter is cute or pretty if you haven’t yet commented on how smart or accomplished they are. No one changes their last name.…

  • autobiographical,  F4TFriday

    Out of the Blue

    This week’s prompt over on Food for Thought Friday is Pick Me Ups, the little things we do to get by when we’re not feeling so hot. To tell you the truth, I’m not always good at this. I tend to “manage” or push myself to the breaking point and completely implode. It’s not a smart strategy but old patterns are hard to break. I do feel lucky that my libido rarely suffers even in states of disarray or depression. For so many it seems that it can be the first to go during a downturn of energy or positivity. Sex is something that doesn’t make me anxious very often…

  • autobiographical,  Masturbation Monday

    Spellcasting

    Come to me by dreams at night Come to me by Second Sight Come to me and be my own Come to me in flesh and bone   By the darkness of my heart Be sustained while we’re apart Keep with thee my steadfast care You are my kindred love, most fair   Bequeath to me your heart and soul Your body too, we shall be whole Together in the world anew Our universe is made for two   By sacred words and ancient rhyme Bewitched within the ice of time Reveal yourself to me at last As this spell is rightly cast   Come to me by dreams at…

  • autobiographical

    Done Kissing Frogs

    I told him I wanted to write about him here, but that I was afraid to, how in the past mentioning a new connection has felt like the kiss of death. Maybe I do it too soon, maybe it’s just bad luck or coincidence but it seems to align with the ends of things. I don’t want there to be an end with him; we’ve barely begun. So there it is, the cat is out of the bag: I’ve met a very sweet, very sane and very submissive local guy and it’s becoming A Thing. If you’ve been following along or have read my endless tweets about the perils of…

  • autobiographical,  F4TFriday,  Thoughts

    Fast Love

    The Food For Thought Friday topic this week is Quickies. How fun! Here I answer three questions on getting down and dirty in record time. What are your views on quickies? I love a good quickie. In many ways I find quick, furtive sex and sex acts more fun and more fulfilling than languid hours in bed. There’s lots to be said for lounging naked and relaxed, rolling in and out of lovemaking, the bed sheets becoming more and more entangled, the inevitable deep sighs of contentment when you finally drag yourselves to the shower. That all has a time and place. But there’s nothing like the heart pumping intensity…

  • autobiographical

    Guarded, Aching and Silent

    “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t.” My heart is heavy, suddenly, cold shock rattles through me as I process what he’s saying. She’s not ready, his daughter. She’s just small but old enough to know what it means to lose his attention and focus. She’s not ready for anyone but her mother, who sadly, has passed and can never come back to them. “I said I’d always be honest; she has to be my priority.” Of course she does. He’s doing what’s right and it’s all the more painful because his heart is where it should be. She’s not ready, but clearly neither is he. There’s nothing to say,…