sub self love

“Self care is worship, Princess. Remember that.”

I’m not in a very sexy head-space these days. I’m trying, and lord knows I’m getting a ton of positive feedback which is incredibly appreciated, but my sexiness doesn’t feel like it’s coming from within, if that makes sense? It feels reflexive and as if I can agree with someone’s compliment but I don’t see it on my own, unprompted. This is better than being unable to see it at all, but it’s still not very satisfying or promising. I have been reminded, as needed, patiently by S (aka Daddy) that sub self love, that my self love, is considered a form of worship of Him and shows respect for what is His. I know that makes sense, and I agree entirely, but in the moment it’s hard to do. Because I know I’m not always great at interrupting that internal monologue, I’m going to try to be more proactive instead! 

I admire a great number of sex bloggers in this community. Among them is Nikki, of Love Is A Fetish. Not only is she sweet and tenacious and a gifted artist, she works really, really hard on her own mental wellness and shares about it freely. One of the ways that Nikki embraces her sexiness and strives to feel better on days she’s not feeling herself, is to dress up. Lingerie just to drink coffee? Hell yes! Snapping nudes just because? Fuck yeah. My point is this: sometimes when she feels crummy about herself or her body she takes action and takes back her power. I admire this so very much and I want, nay, need, to improve on this. So this weekend I am going to take some crazy-hot photos and wear sexy things and be Daddy’s personal pornstar and do all the things that may remind me that I’m more than the sum of my parts, that my body, while His, is still my responsibility, and that sometimes sexy is made until it is found.


This post is included in Love Yourself, a human-positive monthly link-party by Darling Nikki. Click the badge and see who else loves themselves this month …








Violet Fawkes

Violet Fawkes (she/her) is a freelance writer and sex blogger focusing on pleasure education, erotic fiction, and the intersection of identity, kink and mental health.