In the immortal words of Al Pacino in Scarface (1983): “Say hello to my little friend!”, and by friend I mean the Cloud 9 Health & Wellness Wand Kit!

Unlike Tony Montana, I’m not referring to an M16 assault rifle, I’m referring to the best little vibrating wand I own. I have waxed poetic in the past about how I love a big, powerful wand, the kind that plugs into the wall and shakes your fillings loose, but honestly, this little cutie more than gets the job done. It’s small and easy to manage and does exactly what it’s meant to: give me toe curling orgasms on-demand.

FULL DISCLOSURE: The good folks at Cloud 9 sent me the Cloud 9 Health & Wellness Wand Kit free of charge in exchange for this review. All my reviews are honest and based on personal experiences with the device so if I say I love it, I mean it. I’ve also reviewed this vibe from Cloud 9 as well as this one. As with any personal care item, what works for me may not work for you.  

What is a ‘Health & Wellness Wand’ anyway?

Make no mistake, this is definitely a vibrator and works wonders on your most sensitive bits, but because it isn’t phallic shaped it can be marketed as a ‘body massager’. I tested this theory and yes, it’s great on sore muscles and joints, but it really shines below the belt.

Must-know details you will love
  • made from buttery soft, body-safe silicone
  • comes with three attachments that provide different sensations
  • very flexible ‘neck’ for an easy reach to all your nooks and crannies
  • 9 functions (3 solid vibrations in increasing intensity, plus 6 patterns)
  • 2 easy to find, easy to press buttons
  • USB rechargeable in under 90 mins
  • easily cleans up with soap and hot water
  • plays well with your favourite water-based lubricants
My experience with the Cloud 9 Health & Wellness Wand Kit

I really adore and appreciate the Cloud 9 Health & Wellness Wand Kit. I’m not much for add ons and attachments and while I don’t use them much myself, I can see the value for other folks that like a more specific sensation or a more diffused sensation.

Please note that as a cis woman I have no concept of how things feel on different bodies and in the case of the Cloud 9 Health & Wellness Wand Kit I did not have help from the gentlemen in my life. Therefore, all of my anecdotes are based on my own body, thus it’s pretty vulva-centric in terms of the sensations I reference and the language that I use. 

 

The Nubby One

This little “brush” style attachment is the most intense of the three. The teensy silicone “fingers” provide less contact than the smooth head of the wand on its own but they also gently abrade the skin, in a good way. This is a good option if you like a lot of texture, especially against your clit. I find it a bit much because the bristled area is so small and it doesn’t suit the way that I use this wand but this attachment does feel good against my labia, particularly labia minora (the more inner lips).

 

The Frilly One

This attachment confounds me, I’m not going to lie. It’s a tight fitting cap for the spherical head of the wand with a little skirt of very fine silicone that ruffles and ripples when the vibe is turned on. Presumably it’s meant to provide direct stimulation with an additional flutter of the little skirt, or if you want less stimulation all together, just the ruffly skirt part can provide a very soft and rapid tapping against the skin, but personally, it was much too subtle for me, and isn’t an attachment I reach for often, if at all.

 

The Cone Shaped One

This attachment is another one that is far too subtle for my personal taste and needs. The soft silicone cone (say that five times fast!) diverts vibrations from the wand to a perimeter ring that will fit around the clit and/or labia. It is a very, very gentle way to experience the vibrations as so much of them is diffused through the cone. Surrounding the clit and tenting it with the cone ensures that you won’t have direct/overstimulation, which for me, is counterproductive, but for many may be just right!

 

Plain Jane is my fave 

My favourite way to use the Cloud 9 Health & Wellness Wand Kit is without the attachments. I really like the size and shape of the head of the wand. I often use it for shallow penetration with the bulbous head against my gspot and then add in The GSpot Slim Mini Vibe, also from Cloud 9, for my lips and clit. On it’s own it’s great but I happen to love this particular combination of vibrations and sensations best.

Bang for your buck

The Cloud 9 Health & Wellness Wand Kit retails on Cloud 9’s website for $79.95 which I think is a bit steep considering that the attachments are basically decorative for me, but if you like attachments and the idea that you can basically make 1 vibe into 4 vibes, then the price point becomes more appealing.

Not quite a Fawkes’ Fave

All in all, this is a solid little wand vibrator. For me the attachments weren’t much added value, but on its own it does what I want it to do and it’s remarkably powerful and rumbly for its size. It is part of my go-to arsenal of toys that I use on the regular but I rarely reach for it alone. It’s a great member of the supporting cast, but it’s not a star, therefore, it does not earn the Fawkes’ Faves Seal of Approval.

 

Thank you again to Cloud 9 for sending me this fun and powerful mini wand – it may not have scored the highest, but it is still a valuable and enjoyable toy that I use frequently. 

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