It’s a joy to introduce you to this exceptional toy: Meet the Barbarian! Sent to me by John Thomas Toys, the Barbarian is by far the biggest toy I have ever used! Let me tell you all about how this 3 lb chunk of silicone has been blowing my mind …

Meet the Barbarian - the John Thomas Toys logo: a white J and T intersect on a black shield. Below are the words John Thomas Toys (TM) in a playful, retro-cool type font

When the good folks at John Thomas Toys asked me if I’d like to try and review one of their toys, I was a bit overwhelmed. John Thomas is known for BIG dildos that are not for the faint of heart. It took me a few days of scrolling their impressive inventory to finally decide on one and I have no regrets. I also loved the narrative description of the Barbarian:

A natural born killer is Barbarian, so much so that once born out of an egg its mother retreats and leaves her spawn to fight for itself in fear that her new born will indeed attack and eat her.  Barbarian has no friends or family and lives a very lonely existence.

Meet the Barbarian: an oversized, 12" red silicone dildo, in a sink

Stats & Specs: Meet the Barbarian
The Barbarian is an epic dildo. It comes in four sizes (7″, 9″, 12″ and 16″). I chose the 12″ because the 16″ seemed impossibly large and I already have a handful of dildos in the 7″-9″ range. Since I was being given the opportunity to try something new, I wanted to branch out and try a very sizeable toy. The Barbarian definitely delivered.

  • Overall height:  12 inches/30.48 cm
  • Base height:  1.8 inches/4.57 cm
  • Insertable length:  10.2 inches/25.90 cm
  • Min. circumference (penis head):  6.6 inches/16.76 cm
  • Max. circumference (bottom of shaft):  11.5 inches/29.21 cm
  • Vac-U-Lock™ compatible
  • O Ring compatible
  • Weight:  1.3kg /2.95 lbs
  • Material:  100% Platinum Silicone (FDA approved)
  • Surface texture:  Highly textured (reptilian skin/scales, two rows of soft barbs around the base)
  • Available Firmness: Soft (shore rating A-15) or Medium (shore rating A-20)
  • Colour:  I have the Barbarian in red but at the time this review was published it was only available in black
  • Designed in the UK, made in the USA
  • You can read the full description of the Barbarian (all sizes) on the John Thomas Toys website.

Meet the Barbarian: comparison of the 4 sizes of alien dragon dildo aka the Barbarian, in red silicone, by John Thomas Toys

I was able to meet the Barbarian within a week of ordering. Shipping was very quick, it arrived in a plain brown box and the customs declaration was discreet.

The Barbarian is a monster, a holy terror, an absolute menace of a dildo but it’s left me in an incomparable state of bliss that cannot be ignored, nor forgotten.

Meet the Barbarian - a plus sized caucasian woman's bottom, knelt over a massive red silicone dildo

My Experience with the Barbarian
My experience with the Barbarian has been vaginal-only so I cannot speak to it as an anal toy because, for me, there is simply no way I could manage it anally. Because it stands so sturdily on it’s own base, and is Vac-U-Lock™ compatible, it is reasonable to think that it would be a very successful and easy to use anal toy.

My Barbarian is the medium density which is firm enough for my liking, yet still very flexible and yielding. I found that because of the weight and size of it, I struggled to use it laying on my back. It was too big and heavy for me to simply reach down and insert. For me, the only viable way to use the Barbarian (and I’m not complaining about this!) is to ride it. I tried many scenarios and attempted many positions but the best for me was to squat and lower myself onto it, achieving penetration slowly, just the head, before kneeling and letting my body weight push down over it. Once maximum penetration was reached (I managed about 2/3 of the shaft) it was a very intense and pleasurable ride. My best guess is that the softer texture would have made it harder to mount and guide inside, and the medium density was very comfortable and similar in firmness to most of the erect human penises I have met.

Meet the Barbarian: hand for scale holding a 12" dildo

 

On Being a “Size Queen”
I have never identified as a “size queen” (someone who prefers, or exclusively seeks, penetration with particularly large phalluses); mine is an equal opportunity vagina. Considering this philosophy, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the inhumanly large proportions of the Barbarian. It was no small feat and it took me a few tries before I was able to manage it. I won’t lie, the fullness and pressure, at times verging on pain, was exhilarating and I finally understood why some people might adopt a “bigger is better” attitude. The Barbarian didn’t change my mind about the size debate, but it’s fun to have an extreme option when the hunger strikes for that very specific set of sensations.

If you’re embarking on your first over-sized toy odyssey, my number one recommendation is that you warm up with other toys and get really, really aroused, (edging could help). I also found that having an orgasm before attempting the Barbarian made it so much easier. Good luck!

 

Why You’ll Love this Dildo
The Barbarian is a monster, a holy terror, an absolute menace of a dildo but it’s left me in an incomparable state of bliss that cannot be ignored, nor forgotten.

But let me tell you why:

  • Designed in the UK and American-made, the Barbarian is a gorgeously detailed dildo
  • Details mean texture (yum!)
  • Pure silicone, and lots of it
  • Easy to clean and sterilize
  • Latex compatible
  • Works great with your favourite water-based lube
  • Vac-U-Lock™ compatible
  • The base is O-ring compatible
  • It’s just a well made, beauty of a beast and if you like big toys, the Barbarian will deliver

Meet the Barbarian: a 12" dragon dildo across a laptop keyboard

Bang for your Buck 
At the time this post was published the regular retail price for the Barbarian was £69.99/approx $90 USD. It’s not a budget toy, but if you’re looking for a quality dildo that is well made and will last for many years, treat yourself to the Barbarian.

The Fawkes’ Fave Seal of Approval
The Barbarian was great beyond expectations and absolutely deserves to join the ranks of previous Fawkes’ Faves toys. I have no criticism for this toy; I love the look and feel of it, it did everything and was everything it was expected to be, and more. A sex blogger can have a little giant alien dragon cock once in awhile … as a treat. It is without hesitation that I recommend the Barbarian, and if it is any indication of the quality of other John Thomas toys, then I must recommend the brand as a whole, as well.

Thank you so much to the team at John Thomas Toys for sending me the Barbarian in exchange for an honest review. All opinions and endorsements are my own. The links in this post are not affiliate links.

One thought on “Meet the Barbarian”

I'd love to hear your thoughts ...