Meet the Barbarian

Meet the Barbarian

Meet the Barbarian

John Thomas Toys asked me if I’d like to review their toys and I was a bit overwhelmed. John Thomas is known for BIG dildos that are not for the faint of heart. It took me days of scrolling their inventory to finally decide on one. It is enormous and I have no regrets. I also loved the narrative description of the Barbarian:

A natural born killer is Barbarian, so much so that once born out of an egg its mother retreats and leaves her spawn to fight for itself in fear that her new born will indeed attack and eat her.  Barbarian has no friends or family and lives a very lonely existence.

Stats & Specs: Meet the Barbarian

The Barbarian is an epic dildo. It comes in four sizes (7″, 9″, 12″ and 16″). I chose the 12″ because the 16″ seemed impossibly large and I already have a handful of dildos in the 7″-9″ range. This is the opportunity to try something new, it is time to branch out and try a very sizeable toy. The Barbarian definitely delivered.

  • Overall height:  12 inches/30.48 cm
  • Base height:  1.8 inches/4.57 cm
  • Insertable length:  10.2 inches/25.90 cm
  • Min. circumference (head):  6.6 inches/16.76 cm
  • Max. circumference (bottom of shaft):  11.5 inches/29.21 cm
  • Vac-U-Lock™ compatible
  • Colour:  I have the Barbarian in red but at the time this review was published it was only available in black
  • O Ring compatible
  • Weight:  1.3kg /2.95 lbs
  • Material:  100% Platinum Silicone (FDA approved)
  • Surface texture:  Highly textured (reptilian skin/scales, two rows of soft barbs around the base)
  • Available Firmness: Soft (shore rating A-15) or Medium (shore rating A-20)
  • Designed in the UK, made in the USA

My experience with the Barbarian

Due to the weight and size of the Barbarian, I struggled to use it laying on my back. It was too big and heavy for me to simply reach down and insert. The only way for me to use the Barbarian is to ride it. I tried many scenarios and attempted many positions. The best position for me was to squat and lower myself onto it. This way I achieved penetration slowly. Squatting for the head, before kneeling and letting my body weight push down over it. Once maximum penetration was reached (I managed about 2/3 of the shaft) it was a very intense and pleasurable ride.

On Being a “Size Queen”

I don’t self-identify as a “size queen” (someone who prefers, or exclusively seeks, penetration with particularly large phalluses). Mine is an equal opportunity vagina. Considering this philosophy, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the inhumanly large proportions of the Barbarian. It was no small feat and it took me a few tries before I was able to manage it. I won’t lie, the fullness and pressure, at times verging on pain, was exhilarating and I finally understood why some people might adopt a “bigger is better” attitude. The Barbarian didn’t change my mind about the size debate, but it’s fun to have an extreme option when the hunger strikes for that very specific set of sensations.


If you’re embarking on your first over-sized toy odyssey, warm up with other toys and get really, really aroused, (edging could help). I also found that having an orgasm before attempting the Barbarian made it so much easier. Good luck!

Why You’ll Love this Dildo

  • Barbarian is a gorgeously detailed dildo
  • Details mean texture (yum!)
  • Pure silicone, and lots of it
  • Easy to clean and sterilize
  • Works great with your favourite water-based lube
  • Vac-U-Lock™ compatible
  • The base is O-ring compatible
  • It’s just a well made, beauty of a beast and if you like big toys, the Barbarian will deliver
  • Latex compatible

The Barbarian is a monster, a holy terror, an absolute menace of a dildo, but it’s left me in an incomparable state of bliss that cannot be ignored, nor forgotten.

Bang for your Buck 

At the time this post was published the regular retail price for the Barbarian was £69.99/approx $90 USD. It’s not a budget toy, but if you’re looking for a quality dildo that is well made and will last for many years, treat yourself to the Barbarian.

The Fawkes’ Fave Seal of Approval

The Barbarian was great beyond expectations and absolutely deserves to join the ranks of previous Fawkes’ Faves toys. I have no criticism for this toy; I love the look and feel of it, it did everything and was everything it was expected to be, and more.

John Thomas Toys sent me the Barbarian in exchange for an honest review. All opinions and endorsements are my own. The links in this post are not affiliate links.

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