I’ve always been a bit of a crybaby but it’s so much worse when I’m sick. It’s even worse when I’m sick and horny like I was today.

CrybabyNausea isn’t the best thing to go along with sexting but I couldn’t help myself. I was so horny and needy and I just wanted to skip away into fantasy. I was also too close to barfing to play along and touch myself so it was all words and imagination. It was sweet that even though it was just sexting role play he was considerate of my gag reflex and took me through a very hot and very detailed account of fucking my face — but shallowly — so I wouldn’t be sick. Such a gentleman.

It was fun and sexy and it distracted me from my general malaise and grossness but it also made me kind of emotional to role play through a loving and vulnerable scene while not feeling well. It was a lot of emotions and the soft, downy ecstasy of subspace was definitely highlighted by how careful he was, how he described accommodating my lack of energy and being extra affectionate. It was a lovely mental space to be in, and very comforting, but it was harder than expected when it ended. I’ve ‘dropped’ after a scene many, many times, but never after something so practically vanilla. It was odd to curl up afterwards and read it again, feeling my pussy respond so eagerly despite my stomach being upset, and to feel so overwhelmed and moved by his care. It was just a short sexy session, and yet, his energy stayed with me. Afterwards, I cried and cried, not sad tears, but tears of release, more poignant than the release of orgasm and more lovesick than I could have predicted.

A rest, lots of water and some mindless TV helped, but I’m still feeling fragile. I hope it passes soon (I know it will) but until it does I’m going to take it easy and just accept that even though I accomplished basically nothing today, and I was a total crybaby, I pleased him and I let him care for me, without worry or guilt. Sometimes self care is about just letting the tears come and not questioning why. He said it best: “If you are looking after yourself, that’s more then Daddy could ask for, Princess.”

Every Damn Day In June

Violet Fawkes

Violet Fawkes (she/her) is a freelance writer and sex blogger focusing on pleasure education, erotic fiction, and the intersection of identity, kink and mental health.