I fucking love heels, I have always found them sexy, but I hate how they feel on my feet. I hate walking in them, I hate the pinching and the squishing, I hate that they are so awful for the body and that they are wielded as a measure of control when it comes to beauty and the male gaze. High heels are, in my opinion, fraught with issues yet the association with sex is undeniable. I’m happy to say that I have finally found a way to reconcile all of that: bedroom-only shoes.

Flats Forever
Wearing heels in my “real” life is not practical. Because I work from home there’s obviously no dress code  but even when I had a spiffy corporate career in an office I opted for comfortable and casual with a closet full of loafers and ballet flats. When I dress up and go out these days heels feel like overkill in our quiet country town and because I’m not used to wearing them, I will usually kick them off in the car before we get to the restaurant or party.

Such Great Heights
You may not know this about me, but I’m short. Like, short. I’m 5’1″ and stepping into heels always makes me immediately feel sexier and more powerful. When you’re short (and a chubster) the term “cute” is a common moniker and although “cute” is fine, and there’s nothing wrong with being short, adding a few inches (and the swing that heels add to your gait) gets me the upgrade to “hot” or “sexy” with zero added effort … until I have to move or walk or dance or stand for any length of time.

You’ve Got to Treat Yourself
The concept of bedroom-only shoes is not a new one to me, but I have always felt like buying things like shoes specifically for sexy times is wasteful and a bit over the top. But then I realized: I buy myself lingerie all the time, and not just for my lingerie meme, and I don’t wear it on the daily. I do so because I love lingerie, I love how my partners enjoy me in it, and it’s an area of my life where I do indulge myself and give myself permission to embrace (and justify the expense) of feeling sexy. Heels can be hard on your feet but they don’t have to be hard on your bank account. Hear me out: if you can’t acquire the sexy shoe collection of your dreams at full price, get creative, get savvy, and get thrifting. Second hand shoes may seem icky, but if you seek out reputable charity shops, vintage boutiques, consignment stores and online sales/clearance from big box brands, you can pick up some gems for very little. The shoes in the image above are pole dancing shoes (check out that platform!) and I scored them for $10. I also recently found some hot pink pumps and a glittery peep-toe pair that will be fabulous in photos and really glam up my lingerie collection – both pairs for $4.

If, like me, you have high heeled dreams of sexy encounters in towering shoes, be it a full on fetish or just that you like the look, I encourage you to get creative and open up to the “intimate costumery” of devastatingly sexy bedroom-only shoes that you don’t have to walk in. Tell me all about it in the comments below!

Masturbation Monday

Violet Fawkes

Violet Fawkes (she/her) is a freelance writer and sex blogger focusing on pleasure education, erotic fiction, and the intersection of identity, kink and mental health.