autobiographical,  Lingerie Is For Everyone

Reclaimed & Reprised

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
Reclaim & Reprise
#LingerieIsForEveryone Week 29

This is an image from more than two years ago, previously lost in the annals of this blog, snapped one winter morning for a man that I used to love. Just like the relationship, that blog post no longer exists, but the image, and memory remains. I was thinking about him recently, wondering how he is, what’s changed since I knew him, and it made me realise how much I changed myself to be in that relationship. I was embarrassed by my own memories,  disgusted by the exuberance and faith I had extended to him, bewildered by how much of myself I was willing to give, and ultimately, how little of him I got in return. He was a locked box and I desperately wanted to be the key. Alas, I was not.

I’m reprising the image because I like it and I have enough distance to be able to see myself in it, not who I was trying to be. I’m reclaiming it, because it was always mine, I was always mine, and I am learning not to give myself away.

 

lyrics from With Or Without You by U2

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