When I am the Dominant in a relationship, I have very few rules. To be honest, I can’t be bothered to stay on top of them, and why have a rule if it won’t be enforced? One rule I do insist upon, and I have required of every submissive partner I have had: he must write himself a mantra.

Words are powerful things. They shape our beliefs, express our thoughts and put our ideas into motion. They are precious and potent and we can harness that power for our own strength with some thought and care. There aren’t any limitations to the personal mantra I require of a sub, but it should:

  • be short enough to be memorised easily
  • be written/spoken in the first person singular
  • encapsulate the essence of his submission
  • be positive and not self deprecating

The mantra then becomes a part of his consciousness, words to lives by. Uttered or written daily, it is the core value statement of his submission. When stressed or anxious it becomes a soothing meditation, if he’s experiencing signs of post-play ‘drop’ I will have him use his mantra as a device to centre himself (along with other care – a mantra is not a replacement for aftercare!). If we are out of touch or he’s missing me he will say it, and he gasps and blurts and grimaces through his mantra when he wants to cum but doesn’t have permission and when the cage around his cock is too snug and he wants to touch “just for a minute”.

A personal mantra can be a lighthouse when things feel stormy, it can be a compass when he’s feeling lost, and it can be an effective exercise to articulate and share his view on his submission. His submission is 100% for him to define. His mantra is unequivocally his, but it also serves as a reminder of another significant fact: he is mine.



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logo for The Blog Days of Summer, and erotic writing prompt for August


We’ve all heard of the dog days of summer, so why not The Blog Days of Summer? I love a “write every day” prompt, so I am pushing myself again to get better at the discipline of writing or sharing content every day. You’re welcome to join in and link up your work here whether or not you post daily. It’s my personal challenge to post more and I’ll be sharing the work of those who join me on the regular. There is no specific prompt, but the hotter and more sultry the writing or pics, the better! Summer is such a sexy time and is such a lustful backdrop for smut writing.

Violet Fawkes

Violet Fawkes (she/her) is a freelance writer and sex blogger focusing on pleasure education, erotic fiction, and the intersection of identity, kink and mental health.