I’ve started and re-started this post a dozen times. I’m feeling really some sort of way about 500 entries on this blog and thinking about all of the people who have helped me get here. I want to do my best to mention and thank people, knowing full well I will forget someone or someone might feel overlooked. Please know that if you read my blog or follow me on social media, or have argued, discussed, commiserated or celebrated with me, I am grateful to you and you are a part of the success I feel at this milestone.
This blog is a labour of love and has become a really real part of me and my personal expression. It is the source of much joy, many tears (both good and not so good), self doubt and self confidence – often in equal measures – and the way in which I somehow managed to get in on the most lovely community I have ever been apart of. “Pocket Friends” doesn’t express how I feel for so many of you. We are not just words on a screen, isolated and cold and alone, we are part of a thriving community that we all contribute to and I have never been so grateful for a bunch of “strangers” in my life. There have been days (and nights) when the words and humour and humanity of the kinky writing community has kept me going because there is always a kind word to be found, always someone there to support and provide perspective, always someone to challenge me.
Some special people who have truly helped and inspired me:
I am lucky enough to have partners in life and love who are incredibly supportive of my work here and other NSFW projects , and who simply accept my need to create and encourage me in small ways and big. Fantastic Mr. Fawkes and Ralph London, my ride-or-die, Eve and Loverboy are my biggest champions and my love and gratitude for their support knows no bounds. I can be exactly who I am with them. They give me so much love and so much to write about. I’m better for having them in my life.
KP gets a VIP special mention, (and all the blurry tears as I write this), because he has been so unfailingly kind to me and has loved me so steadily throughout our romantic relationship and now friendship. He has been my best critic, my Editor in Chief, my co-writer and co-pilot and the voice of reason when I felt I had nothing left to write and nothing worth saying. He has endured my tears and rage and depression and confusion. He’s a rock, he’s an angel, and he’s someone I am so glad to call my friend.
Where do I start? These three are, to me, the pillars of the community. Three strong, brilliant, and inspiring women who overcome their own obstacles and the obstacles of the world at large to share their thoughts and stories and experiences. All four of these women are humble and brilliant, fierce and so full of love and kindness. I feel forever in their debt for their direct and indirect support, for patiently fielding my inane questions and being stellar role models. Their weekly memes (#SinfulSunday, #MasturbationMonday, and #BoobDay) have been instrumental in helping me find my voice as an NSFW artist through both words and images. These women embody feminism, strength, beauty and grace.
The Dom Gurus: Michael, John, Ferns, B1 and Master Venture
Kink and D/s is a complicated world, and as someone who really needs to have a clear sense of identity and purpose to feel able to express myself, I have, as many of you have read along, had a very circuitous and fluid (to put it nicely) journey to figure out my kinks and needs and abilities. A big part of this learning has been about accepting and embracing what my D/s roles have meant for me and how to express them. I would have been lost without some very strong and noble Dom(me)s whom I admire and who have generously talked me off the ledge and bolstered my confidence when I needed it. To these five “gurus”, I say thank you so much for giving me your time when I have needed it and for helping me see parts of myself that I needed to see.
The sex blogging community is filled with support and is, by an large, a very easy group to feel a part of, even for a hermetic self doubter with impostor syndrome, like me. And yet, there are some extra bright and shining stars in this galaxy of supportive writers and content creators who are relentless in their re-tweeting, beyond generous with their likes and comments and just incredibly inclusive. These three contribute tirelessly with a sense of greater good in an online environment where it is so easy to be self-involved, bitter and thoughtless. I feel that my work is seen and shared by so many and I am grateful, but May, Floss and Posy seem to be forever boosting others, myself included and I aspire to be on this level of supportive to other bloggers.
Smut Writing is Real Writing
I mentioned Impostor Syndrome and yes, it is real for me. So real, in fact that the first two NSFW blogs I started, I scrapped, and now I’m here on Love, Violet. This blog (and now freelancing!) is a huge departure from my previous career and I have faced, and continue to face, some big hurdles to get to where I am today (and I’m still not where I want to be!) Part of the validation that comes with writing, like any hobby-come-job, is getting paid for it. Not just getting a free toy to review, not just getting a mention in an article, all of that is great, but blog love doesn’t pay the bills.
Quinn was the first person to ever pay me for something I wrote. In many ways it is the most important $20 I have ever made because it signified to me that I could do this, that I have a voice that people will support and hear and see value in. I think of that interview with Quinn and those first dollars earned for my thoughts and words every time I nervously pitch an article or send in a completed assignment for a client or send out content to my supporters on Patreon. A big thank you to Pandora Blake for taking a chance on me joining the copywriting team on Dreams of Spanking, to Kayla for accepting my ideas for articles on The Big Fling, and for all the other times you gracious people in this community have hired me to read, write, draw, and create for you and all of you who will collaborate with me in the future. For those of you who are like minded and want to learn how to make your love of smut writing a professional reality, make sure you get onboard with The Smutlancers and soak up their knowledge and guidance!
The #LingerieIsForEveryone Squad
When I started Lingerie Is For Everyone in February I was nervous that no one would participate or “get it”, or frankly care. I couldn’t have been more wrong. There has been a core group that participates regularly, other people who come and go from week to week and new people messaging me all the time about how excited they are to partake. I really wanted to create a celebratory and safe space for everyone who likes wearing lingerie or is just discovering that it’s a fun and sexy way to express themselves and I think we have achieved that, friends. Big love to all of you who read, share and participate, with special mentions and hugs for Charlie B., BlueSubmission, Floss, Nikki, PurplesGem, Lexy, Lucy, Eye, Jacques, LSB, Deviant Succubus, Annie, and everyone else who believes, affirms and supports that lingerie is for everyone, regardless of race, gender, orientation, age, or body type.
Writers Who Set The Bar So High
This community is positively bursting with talent and I love seeing so many of my peers finding happiness and success in what they do, but there are a few people whose work pushes me, whose words I return to time and again, who make me want to push myself and achieve my goals and dreams in writing. Believe me, the list is a lot longer than this shortlist of writers who inspire me, but Charlie, Cara, Thumper, Quinn, DeviantSuccubus and KP consistently take my breath away with their words and commentary on life, love, sex, kink, trauma, disability, sexuality, and being human. I am grateful to you lot because I why, how, and what I write, is in part because of each of you.
Thank You All
These 1500+ words aren’t enough, and I could never include enough people, so even if I haven’t called you out by name, please don’t think I have bypassed you entirely. You all help keep me sane and motivated, you have all helped me get to this 500th post and you have all helped me believe in myself, as a woman, as an artist, as a writer, as a person. You have given me shelter and sustenance, brought me to tears, challenged me, and I dare say, you have seen and accepted, maybe even loved me, for who I am. For that I am so grateful. For all of my loquaciousness, I can think of no better words than these two: Thank you.
All my love,