autobiographical,  body image,  Photos,  Sinful Sunday

Meet Yourself Where You Are

I’ve received some very cruel feedback about my body in the last two weeks, all anonymous, all online. At first I was mystified that such cold words didn’t affect me more; there certainly was a time when I would have been utterly devastated.

What these comments afforded me was the opportunity to look at my body objectively, and what I found currently was a body which, like all other bodies, regardless of size, is constantly in flux. Our bodies are not static. They are ever changing, and forever giving us new and important information.

My body does an awful lot for me. Sure, it doesn’t rock climb or run very fast, it’s soft where it’s told it should be firm, but it’s mine, and I can’t do much to help it change if I can’t accept it where it is.

Meet yourself, and your body where you are.

If you want to make changes, do. Or not. But I can tell you this: it’s easier if you love your body before you ask it to change.




  • jupitergrant

    I’m so sorry that you have had to endure nastiness and cruelty. ? You are so right and so inspiring in what you have written in response; our bodies bear us through this life, and just because they don’t fit some current societal “norm” (so called) is not a reason to hate them. You look glorious, Violet, and this is another beautiful shot. You look ripe and relaxed, and inviting.

    • Violet

      Thank you so much for this – and I agree. the standards are so arbitrary! May as well just get on with life, we are so much more than just the meat sack our souls inhabit! LOL

  • Joley Swolin

    Violet, I’ve always admired your confidence – even when you admit you’re not really feeling it. The fact that people feel they have the right to spout off typically shows their personal fears and weaknesses. Your strength and confidence are inspiring. Keep being you, please!

    • Violet

      thank you! “keep being you” is such a lovely thing to say. I’ve fought “me” for a long time. In many ways I think people who red this blog know me more intimately than some people in my everyday life.

  • Cara Thereon

    I don’t understand saying rude things about someone’s body on their page. Navigate away if it isn’t what you want to see. I love your outlook as our bodies have done a lot for us, we should be thankful for that truth. It deserves our love and care. Your photos are always so well done, by the way.

    • Violet

      I agree! and thank you! I find it so confusing too … if you don’t like the image or conversation, or article, or whatever, just out down your phone LOL I suppose some people require the detriment of others to feel things. What a sad existence that would be.

  • Alethea Hunt

    What a beautiful picture. Your sexiness is awesome, but equally that you share the more raw aspects of yourself. That your blog is not smoke and mirrors but all of you is what makes it so engaging and keeps inspiring me to push my own boundaries. x

    • Violet

      This is such a kind and lovely comment. Honestly, If I can do it, anyone can. I try to avoid smoke and mirrors, I am newly committed to living an authentic life, no matter what. Scary but good for the soul.

  • E. L. Byrne

    Shit. People suck and you are beautiful outside (inside is a given and I hate “qualifying” a compliment with- inside AND Out”) I’m sorry people are such assholes and thanks for being you and outing yourself out there all the time!!

    • Violet

      Assholes abound in this world, sadly. Online comments can hurt but when they are totally anonymous they really can’t hold any significance to me. If someone thinks terrible things of me I invite them to say them to my face. I’d relish it.

    • Violet

      thank you! i love it too! Insecurity is okay and normal but anonymous trolling is super lame. thanks for all the love and support.

  • victoriablisseuk

    You are so right about meeting your body where it is. Have you read Happy Fat by Sofie Hagen? I heartily recommend it. The cruel words do not define you, they define the person saying them. I’m glad you show off your beauty so unapologetically. It’s inspirational.

    • Violet

      Thank you for the recommendation, I haven’t read it, but I’ll look into it. And I agree, our words define us not the people we share them with.

  • missy

    People can be so cruel and I really don’t understand why they feel the need. I admire the way that you rise above this and what you say about loving your body is so true. I think that doing it is hard but others can be inspired by those who are able to lead the way. Thank you 🙂

    • Violet

      It’s very strange for me to hear that I may be inspiring others in terms of body positivity since I have been so heavily conditioned and ruthlessly taught to loathe mine. It’s exciting and I feel like for any of us, a journey to self love is not ours alone, but it “takes a village”. Thank you for your support!

  • Posy Churchgate

    Violet – shame on them.
    Awe and respect for you that you have come back with truth and thoughtful concepts even in the face of uninvited cruelty.
    You do you. Many of us find you very inspiring, always sexy and beautiful. You always seem composed and comfortable in your skin, although I know you have confessed to using a ‘fake it til you make it’ strategy which is great positive thinking. I always see beauty & serenity in your images, and this one is no exception.

    • Violet

      I do fake it sometimes, and other times I don’t. It’s all part of trying to be authentic, not perfect, authentic, but not giving up if things feel less than ideal. Your words are very warm and comforting. thank you!

  • Miss Scarlet

    I’m always flabbergasted as to why other people feel they have the right to criticise and comment on the bodies of other people.

    I look at this image and see sensual beauty.

  • eye

    As always, you provoke thought and inspire creativity. Thank you for continuing to put yourself out there, I see your beauty and I am grateful that I can.

  • Molly

    Bloody fucking people, they can be so truly awful and seem quite happy to share their awfulness too. Well fuck them and yay for you posting this beautiful sensual image in response.


  • DeviantSuccubus

    This is a very beautiful, sensual and sexy picture of you. I love the strength both your text and your picture show. Loving our bodies is a neverending process, and changing them is something that should be up to us, and not others. Thank you for sharing your art with us!

  • lupesplace

    This is picture is jaw-droppingly amazing. I can’t really stop looking at it. You are gorgeous, and everyone should feel privileged to be able to see you this way.
    (Anyone saying cruel things to you is a shithead, and I will punch them for you if you send me their way.)

  • Marie Rebelle

    I will never understand why people feel the need to give negative comments, especially when it’s about something as personal as your body. I love that you are so strong that you could turn those negative comments around and look at your body in a positive way. You are so right, accepting it as it is, is the first step to getting it to change. Love your image, Violet!

    Rebel xox

    • Violet

      thank you, Marie. the world is ready for more diversity in beauty and art, and I intend to make my mark. thank you for always being such a great support. xo

  • LittleSwitchBitch

    Oh Violet, thank you for such beautiful, thought provoking words – “If you want to make changes, do. Or not. But I can tell you this: it’s easier if you love your body before you ask it to change.” That sentence will stay with me – and I think anyone who visits this post regardless of what size, colour or gender they are will hold onto it too because it is relevant to so much.

    Oh and fuck people, well not literally because they don’t deserve your beautiful soul or your beautiful body! Xx

  • lovedyoualongtime

    So sorry that you have received negative comments. Can never understand why people have the need to do that.
    Well done for carrying on., you have a beautiful body and should be proud of it.
    It’s a lovely photo and pose.

    • Sexilicious Ash

      I’ve had a lot of negative things said to me about my body. I wish that I were at the same place that you are. I try to love my body but it’s so hard. I compare myself to what society says I should look like and I put myself down for not being able to achieve that. Your confidence is amazing and you are beautiful.

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