Whether it’s in the bedroom, on a phone call, or in conversation, sexy talk that is both captivating and intoxicating is an art form. When you’re able to articulate intimate thoughts vividly, while resonating with your partner, you can transform any mundane dialogue into something magical. Pillow talk may feel a bit cringe, but with a little practice, you can elevate your relationship through aural pleasure. In this blog post, we’ll explore how you can use your voice to heighten intimacy between yourself and someone else by mastering the art of seductive talk.
Aural Pleasure Comes in Many Forms
From subtle whispers to verbal assurance, sexy talk can be an incredibly empowering and pleasurable experience. It can generate arousal to your physical body as well as your emotions, and it’s a creative way to express intimacy, both giving and receiving. What’s more, there are no fixed rules for indulging in sexy talk; the benefit is that there are countless ways to explore aural pleasure and it’s all about discovery and experimentation. Whether you’re leaving a sultry voice mail or talking in person, having the confidence to verbally entice is a learnable skill. You may not think you have it in you, but you do!
Getting Past the Embarrassment
Sexy talk can be a daunting prospect. Instead of being embarrassed by the idea, think of it as an opportunity to express yourself and explore different avenues for experiencing and sharing pleasure. After all, there’s nothing wrong with expanding your knowledge of each other’s sensibilities and preferences in the bedroom. Whether you’re shaking things up in an established relationship or looking to keep things spicy with someone new, sexy talk is a hurdle for most people. If you are dying to share a fantasy or desire but you don’t know how to bring it up, you’re not alone. Most of us were raised to not talk about sex and desire, our attraction, or our bodies. Yet all of these concepts are factors in an intimate sexual relationship. Suffering through the initial cringe will afford you a whole world of expression, fantasy fulfilment and role play!
Tips for Getting Over Embarrassment and Insecurities
Pillow talk can feel awkward and embarrassing, but it doesn’t have to! If you are feeling a little insecure about expressing your feelings and desires with your partner, try these tips.
- Your partner wants you, just like you want them; sexy talk can stoke those fires
- Everyone is a bit nervous about it and feels a bit silly at first, share the silliness and have a giggle if you need to
- Start with a whisper. Everything sounds sexy if you whisper.
- Use your voice, lower your tone and slow down
Starting the Conversation
Initiating sexy talk does not need to mean that you express all of your most deeply held desires in one conversation. Instead, build up to it by sharing a few fantasies or reflecting on intimacy you’ve shared together in the past. Communication is key. If you want to engage in some sexy talk with your partner, broach the topic honestly and openly. Share your thoughts, ideas and hesitations related to sexy talk and then allow them to respond. Depending on their perspective on the topic, they may need some time or space to think about it. They too may be embarrassed at the thought of it.
Sexy Talk Requires Consent
Sexy talk is absolutely an activity that requires consent. Talking about sex and sexy things can be triggering for some people so it’s important to discuss how aural pleasure may influence the relationship. Be sure you’re aligned on how and when the sexy talk comes out, don’t assume you have ongoing consent just because they liked it last time.
How to create an atmosphere that encourages sexy talk
- Establish some ground rules – Decide if this is a bedroom-only game and discuss when and where you’re both comfortable doing it
- Share words or phrases that turn you on – Knowing the exact words and how to say them in order to get your partner’s toes curling is a lot of fun and exciting for both of you
- Know what NOT to say – It’s just as important to know what gives them the ick. Be sure you know what turns them off as well as you know what turns them on.
Tips For Making Sexy Talk More Comfortable
- Accept that it feels silly sometimes
- Don’t take yourself too seriously
- The more you do it the more natural (and sexier) it becomes
- Work up to face to face sexy talk
- Start with recordings or phone conversations if you’re shy
- Don’t pressure or rush your partner
Errors in Sexy Talk
One of the most common mistakes people make when sexy talking is not knowing their audience. It’s important to remember that not everyone is turned on by the same things. What might be a turn-on for one person could be a complete turn-off for another. So, before you start sexy talking, take a moment to think about what your partner might find hot.
Being too explicit too soon
Another mistake people often make when sexy talking is being too explicit too soon. If you go too far too fast, you may end up making your partner feel uncomfortable or even grossed out. It’s important to build up to the more explicit stuff gradually. Start with some innocuous flirting and see how your partner responds to that sexy talk before moving on to anything less mainstream.
Using clichéd phrases
Using clichéd or hackneyed phrases is another mistake people often make when sexy talking. Phrases like “You make me so hot” or “I’ve been thinking about you all day” are so overused that they’re likely to elicit an eye roll rather than a moan of pleasure. Instead, try to be original and come up with your own salacious phrases.
Sounding bored or uninterested
If you sound bored or uninterested when you’re sexy talking, you’re not going to get very far. This is a mistake that a lot of people make, especially if they’re not into what they’re saying. If you’re genuinely uncomfortable, stop and let your partner know. Change gears, try again, or do something else, it’s up to you. But if you’re going to do it, do it enthusiastically.
Forgetting to listen
Listening is just as important as talking when it comes to sexy talk. You need to pay attention to your partner’s responses in order to gauge what they’re into and what they’re not into. If you’re not paying any attention to what your partner is saying, you’ll miss some vital cues and end up saying something that kills the mood completely.
Final thoughts on sexy talk
Sexy talk is a great way to increase intimacy in any relationship. Not only is sexy talk intimate, it can build trust and bring both partners closer together. It’s important to open up about what turns you on and what fantasies and desires you’d like to explore together – always safely and within agreed boundaries of course! So don’t be shy about exploring each other, embrace your inner flirtations, get vulnerable in the bedroom, and enjoy some sexy talk!