I read a great phrase, serendipitously on New Year’s Day, and I have taken it upon myself to make it my mantra for 2019. Would you like to read it? Of course you would.

The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.
Now, as a kinky, sex blogger, writing and creating in an arena of themes like surrender and control, this really spoke to me. I recognized immediately that the feelings of insecurity and self doubt I have been feeling about my writing and my blog as a whole are entirely the fiction of my ego and my need to be in control. Seeing that so clearly allowed me to make a choice: continue to struggle and fret and feed that ego or allow the voice in me that needs to speak about sexuality and passion and FemDom and polyamory, about bodies and feelings and freedom and fears, let that voice flow and see what comes of it.
And just like that, a few ideas sparked, they trickled and skipped their way through me, gathering speed and taking form until there was a rushing wave of ideas and goals rushing out my fingertips. As soon as I stopped resisting, as soon as I surrendered, I became as free as my thoughts.
Welcome to 2019, friends. May it be the year that we stop fighting ourselves to be who we are and to get what we need.
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Violet Fawkes

Violet Fawkes (she/her) is a freelance writer and sex blogger focusing on pleasure education, erotic fiction, and the intersection of identity, kink and mental health.