I told him I wanted to write about him here, but that I was afraid to, how in the past mentioning a new connection has felt like the kiss of death. Maybe I do it too soon, maybe it’s just bad luck or coincidence but it seems to align with the ends of things. I don’t want there to be an end with him; we’ve barely begun.
So there it is, the cat is out of the bag: I’ve met a very sweet, very sane and very submissive local guy and it’s becoming A Thing. If you’ve been following along or have read my endless tweets about the perils of F/m dating you’ll know that this is kind of a big deal.
We connected in May and lost contact; he was busy, I had to cancel on a date, and it all sort of faded away, each of us thinking the other wasn’t as interested as we were. My egregious search for a local subby guy continued through the summer and into September until a FetLife message from him made me pause and smile. He had no expectations, expressed no pressure, only wanted to acknowledge that my search seemed long and arduous and he still thought of me fondly. Have you ever had a misunderstanding become clear to you and felt your heart swell with relief? That’s how it was. I responded that I still thought of him too and we both keenly expressed the desire to reconnect.
It’s a slow burn. We are discovering each other and revealing ourselves slowly and thoughtfully which is a nice change of pace from the manic casual dating of the last 5 months. I can’t help but think that we’d be so much further along with things if we hadn’t had the hiatus of the summer but I’m also glad it turned out this way. I’m not entirely sure if i believe that “everything happens for a reason” but there is something a bit cosmic about our connection. Perhaps I needed to wade through a bog of fuckboys to get here. As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.