Welcome back to #writebigsexywords ! This is our third installment – we have looked at words for colours and words that express a feeling or state of being and this week we turn to words that help us describe a character’s look or personality. I often struggle with building character descriptions and over simplify them by focusing on the superficial, the outside, how they look. It’s much more challenging to weave in their motivations, personality and behaviours but the results can give you a more robust and nuanced description that may help your readers grow attached to the character, or if you’d rather, it can repel them – some of the most interesting characters are the ones we don’t immediately like or that we find troublesome in some way. Picture perfect characters are often less dimensional than characters that feel more real when described with relatable human emotions. I am trying to push myself towards terms that take us beyond whether a character is good or bad, handsome or ugly, shy or bold, etc. Here’s a sampling of some words I’m loving and using lately …

This week’s words

bumptious (adj.) – proud and self assertive to an irritating degree

“He had a nickname at the club that no one ever dared say to his face; they called him Kiss’n’Tell Ken. He was quick to tell tales of his conquests, to brag and elaborate in detail about the women he’d had. He was so bumptious that he went as far as to share photos and secret video clips that his lovers did not know of. He was hard to listen to and it was impossible to shut him up once he started.”  

urbane (adj.) – suave, courteous and refined

“Shayla watched the three brothers at the bar, her chest flushing with heat at the thought of their six hands on her, their cocks swarming her three needy openings, consuming her. She wondered what they’d each be like in bed. Two were so rugged and gritty looking, like sexual lumberjacks, built for long cold winters, built to breed. The third was smaller, more self contained. He was urbane and carried himself differently than his brutish brothers. She watched him most carefully and longest. Yes, he was the one she wanted most.”

eesome (adj.) – easy on the eyes, pleasant to look at

“There he stood, sign in hand, waiting for Rebecca on the train platform. It was a slate sign, and he had asked the girl at the ticket window to write the name for him as he was unsure of the spelling. She was an eesome young thing, heavy fawn coloured hair and eyes to match. He blushed guiltily thinking of the open button of her uniform’s blouse and the blush coloured silk of her undergarments tight across her small breasts. He had watched her chest rise and fall as she carefully scrawled the letters for him, prim cursive, looping, moving precisely as his eyes wandered freckle to freckle across her chest.”

indolent (adj.) – shiftless, unfocused, lazy

“Patrick pulled open the bedroom door to see Jane and Lisa lounging on the unmade bed. To his horror he saw clothing and makeup strewn about, an empty champagne bottle and abandoned glasses on the bedside table, the curtains askew and a still-smoldering cigarette snubbed out in the potted palm. This was not the scene he wanted to see an hour before his wife returned from her weekend conference. He made a mental note never to pick up a pair of careless, indolent co-eds like them again, at least not when there was a schedule to stick to.”

soigné (adj.) – elegantly appointed, well groomed

“Without a doubt, she was the most eye catching and soigné woman in the room; tall, voluptuous, with a smoldering stare, she was who every man wanted and who every other woman wanted to be.”

gauche (adj) – crude, lacking social graces, awkward

“He was tired of the brunch-munching pretty boys, the athletes and ad men. He didn’t want another country club WASP, he wanted someone exciting. An artist, maybe. Or a musician. A rebel, a punk, someone raffishly gauche and thrillingly edgy, the sort of guy that was dark and wounded, who would treat him badly but in a good way, the sort of guy that would choke him with his cock and leave without saying good night.”

cordial (adj.) – warm and friendly, affable

“Rage simmered under Nadine’s skin at the sight of Clara and Fiona huddled together, kissing obnoxiously on the couch as their friends partied around them. Just yesterday it had been her mouth on Fiona’s, on her neck and tits, between her legs. She strode across the room and cleared her throat and smiled when Clara looked up. In a level and cordial tone she introduced herself, as if they hadn’t met before, distinctly ignoring Fiona.”

ardent (adj.) – enthusiastically passionate

“Luscious wetness smeared Jacob’s face as he gasped for air and dove between their legs again. He had always prided himself on being an ardent lover and his hunger for Kelsey was upholding his reputation. Their sweet muskiness drove him on and he feasted voraciously.”

censorious (adj.) – intensely critical of others, judgmental

“Bridgette’s reputation in the industry was fearsome. As a director she was calculating and censorious, dismissing actors for the smallest flaws, for the most minor infractions or missteps. She knew what she liked, and if their cocks weren’t stunning and their cunts weren’t made for the camera, she had no time for them. No one but the creme de la creme of the Hollywood Hills made it into her pictures. She would not be convinced, she could not be bought and she made no apologies for perfection.”


As always, these nine words are only a minuscule sampling of what’s available to us. I hope they pique your interest and inspire you to layer in some visual, emotional and descriptive interest as you build out your characters and continue to #writebigsexywords.


Violet Fawkes

Violet Fawkes (she/her) is a freelance writer and sex blogger focusing on pleasure education, erotic fiction, and the intersection of identity, kink and mental health.