I have been gravely remiss in posting roundups for #SOSS but I’m trying to make it a weekly thing again and more consistently share what I read and love. I’ve had a hard week for a number of reasons and I have been deep in my feelings; listless, exhausted, overwrought. You’ll see that the common thread in the pieces I have highlighted is that they all have something to them that struck a chord and that I related to. When in crises I tend to reach for the familiar, for better or worse. Something in each of these pieces validated my feelings, made me feel less alone, or reminded me that sometimes we just can’t help but be human.
Here are the pieces that stood out to me this week:
I Panicked – by Hyacinth Jones of A Dissolute Life Means
I have never met Hy, I would love to as her blog is so much of the reason I started writing my own blog, but I do know from her posts that we are very different people from the point of view of intro/extrovertism. Despite how we need social energy in different ways, we do process our feelings and insecurities in similar fashions, and her description in I Panicked hit me so close to the bone. I related so much to the worry and behaviour she described and I understood how hard it is to feel that way, especially with someone knew, or someone who makes you feel that liquid longing that we all search for.
“A person with a healthier sense of attachment and dating history than me might have been able to coolly move on and wait it out, trust everything she’d heard from a man who has done nothing overt to disprove that trust, and also never reveal her insecurities in the process. Ah, to be that person.”
Fuck. I feel that quote with my whole heart.
Kiss Me Through the Phone – by Jo of Teachers Have Sex
There were lots of great submissions for this Kink of the Week on Phone Sex but Jo’s hot blooded account of her calls with The Engineer gave me that gasping flutter when you read something so hot that also makes sense or inspires you. Being 7000+ km from KP I understand the dire need to connect emotionally, mentally, sexually, on the regular to keep things lively and how important that time is.
Deliverance – by KP of Kinky & Perky
Speaking of KP, and I know I’m wildly biased, but I am so ridiculously happy and proud of him for the flash fiction he’s been writing, and for taking a more free wheeling, less perfectionist approach to his work. Deliverance is a hot, raw, and unapologetically submissive bit of writing. I can barely read this line without tearing up:
“Lips bitten through, skin broken and sinews strained, you are my deliverance and the safe place I can crawl to, to feel truly free.”
Body Changes, Lube, Erotica and Masturbation – by Indie of Midnight at the Oasis
Indie’s work is always so insightful and I love the academic feel and deep analysis she exhibits in her non-fiction pieces. This particular piece focuses on relating to another piece by Kayla Lords Why Couldn’t I just Ask for Lube? (another great bit of writing!) and there are a lot of ideas and concepts covered. One bit stuck out for me:
“As a woman engaging in partnered sex I took pride in how wet my cunt was. I loved it when a lover gasped when they encountered no resistance to a finger or a cock. Not only no resistance but a fabulous slickness that actively drew him in, and remained so throughout our sexual encounter.”
I carry a self-consciousness and shame about my own illustrious wetness because I once received some criticism about it (Reminder: it only takes one remark, one time, for a lifetime of shame! Be kind!) and every time I am intimate with a new person (which I was this week) I have to face that shame and stigma and override it. I also, have to compartmentalize my own worries apart from their response or the outcome of the sexual event. In the case of this week, the sexual event ended very, very poorly, and has produced some new scars all its own, but that’s for another blog post. Long story short, Indie’s and Kayla’s self reflection and acceptance was a positive thing to have in my field of vision this week and I’m glad I came across both posts.
For more highlights of this week’s most noteworthy pieces on sex, erotica and sexual health, jump on Twitter and look for #SOSS